Dylan Cease One-Hits Red Sox in Jays Fever Dream

Good morning to Dylan Cease, who apparently spent Saturday carrying the entire sport in a tote bag.

The Blue Jays beat the Boston Red Sox 6-0 away from home.

That sentence is already suspicious.

Then you get to the real part: Cease threw 9.0 innings, allowed 0 earned runs, struck out 12, and Boston finished with 1 hit.

A one-hit, 12-strikeout complete-game shutout.

This is not a box score.

This is someone accidentally leaving the Blue Jays on easy mode and forgetting to switch it back before the public noticed.

Cease unplugged Boston

Boston’s line was 0 runs, 1 hit, 0 errors, and 3 left on base.

That is less a line score than a restaurant receipt for a glass of tap water.

The Blue Jays bullpen did not have to become a group project.

No relay race.

No seventh-inning smoke machine.

No one staring at the bullpen gate like it is a suspicious closet in a horror movie.

Cease just stayed out there and kept removing Red Sox hitters from the premises with the calm authority of a librarian confiscating a kazoo.

Twelve strikeouts is a big number in any game.

In this season, it feels like finding a working escalator in a haunted mall.

Toronto fans are not emotionally designed for a starting pitcher making things simpler as the game gets older.

We are designed for complication.

We are designed for a 4-2 lead that starts coughing in the hallway.

Cease gave everyone a different experience.

He gave the broadcast a straight line.

He gave the bullpen a chair.

He gave the rest of us a night where the sport briefly stopped trying to dunk our heads in a bucket.

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The third inning found the big red button

The first and second innings were 0-0, because baseball likes to pretend it is normal before it starts juggling furniture.

Then the top of the third arrived.

Against Sonny Gray, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. singled on a line drive to left fielder Jarren Duran, and Nathan Lukes scored.

Then George Springer homered (11) on a fly ball to left field off Sonny Gray, bringing in Guerrero and Kazuma Okamoto.

Then Ernie Clement doubled (24) on a line drive to Jarren Duran off Sonny Gray, and Daulton Varsho scored.

Five runs.

One inning.

A whole emotional renovation project completed before anyone could locate the tiny Allen key.

Springer went 2-for-5 with the homer and 3 RBI.

Guerrero went 3-for-4 with 2 RBI.

Clement went 3-for-4 with 1 RBI.

When this lineup does that, you feel like someone replaced the usual remote with one that has batteries.

Not fresh batteries, necessarily.

Let’s not get theatrical.

But batteries.

The hit parade still wore Blue Jays shoes

Toronto finished with 6 runs, 15 hits, 0 errors, and 7 left on base.

I do appreciate the 7 left on base, just to keep the brand visible.

You cannot have a completely clean Blue Jays win without leaving a small pile of familiar laundry in the corner.

Daulton Varsho had 2 hits.

Andrés Giménez had 2 hits.

Nathan Lukes had 2 hits.

Kazuma Okamoto had 1 hit.

It was a lineup, not an apology note.

The ninth inning added one more run, because apparently the Jays wanted to test whether fans could process abundance without calling a technician.

Against Alec Gamboa, Guerrero singled on a ground ball to second baseman Anthony Seigler, deflected by Gamboa.

Giménez scored, and Lukes moved to third.

Was it majestic?

It was a run.

At this point, I will accept a run delivered by a deflected grounder, a courier pigeon, or a handwritten note slid under the door.

Sunday is already standing in the doorway

Now comes the part where we act like rational people.

Difficult, but worth attempting.

The Blue Jays are 48-57, with a .457 winning percentage.

They are fifth in the division.

They are 3-7 in the last ten and on a W1 streak.

That is not a parade route.

That is one very nice sandwich in a year of vending machine dinners.

The season totals still say 415 runs, 3.95 runs per game, a .242 batting average, a .683 OPS, and 104 home runs.

So, yes, enjoy the 6-0 win.

Absolutely enjoy it.

Frame the Cease line. Put the 1 hit allowed in a tiny velvet box. Let the 12 strikeouts wear a little crown.

But Sunday is still here, because baseball is rude about letting anyone sit down.

Toronto has Kevin Gausman listed against Ranger Suarez and the Red Sox.

The series summary says split 1 of 2 vs Boston: Friday was a 6-4 loss, Saturday was a 6-0 win.

That means this is not finished.

It is only briefly hilarious in a pleasant direction.

Cease gave the Blue Jays a game that felt impossible to misplace.

Please do not immediately put it in the washing machine with a pen.